Remain life-less in my draft folder. Sometimes in journals that I stash away and never complete. Other times, they clutter my desk until I reorganize for the umpteenth time only to be hidden.
Possibly, hoping one day I’ll choose one and breathe it into existence. Possibly forming a bond with the other rejected pieces. Starting to believe what I think of them to be true. “You’ll never be a true piece of writing. You’re better off in the dark. Unheard of. Unknown.“
I, the content creator consider it crappy…why would my work ever feel it to be otherwise? That is if it could feel.
There they sit. With a voice that cannot be heard because I became their biggest husher.
Drafts that sometimes go untouched for days if not longer. The warmth of the words that once filled them have become cold.
Drafts that no one else knows of their existence except for me, but soon to get forgotten because I pushed them aside…
The same ones that I visited today. The same ones that at one point made me feel, a type of way.
Going back and reading them, well they grab a hold of me once more. Clinging as a child clings to their mother begging her not to ever let them go. But the times have changed. And sometimes the things written no longer apply. They are but memories. Memories you wish you had the courage at that time to post. Because they weren’t so bad after all.
In reality, you simply lacked the courage and listened to self-doubt instead. Now that you have lowered the volume of self-doubt you want to bring some of those pieces to life by sharing for others to see. You no longer want to be the opressor of your own words, but you realized some drafts will have to stay stashed away.
Some because the moment was then and there not anymore. Others because the person you wrote about isn’t in your life anymore. And so on and so forth.
Which is why, I’d like to take a moment of silence for all those drafts that could’ve been published, but no longer can. They will remain in my folders, the notebooks, and scribbled in paper, for as long as is needed.
May this be a lesson learned, to post even on those days when I feel I shouldn’t expose my feelings too much. That’s when I should totally most definitely post.