July 30, 2017
Do you ever get recurring thoughts? Y’know the ones that are on constant replay and you don’t know what to make of them because there are different scenarios and outcomes for each and every single one of them? Don’t you hate it when it usually leads to more negative outcomes than not?
Or is that just me falling in a never-ending pessimist pit?
Looking through the glass, you just can’t help, but feel you’re not knowing what you’re feeling anymore.
Let’s just say, your cup is neither half empty nor half full, it’s just there sitting. Halfway. And it has three options. It can either be filled as it adds to its self, it can be emptied out, or simply stay as is. The latter indicating reaching a level of conformity and that cannot be good… And that’s how you feel right now. You’re at that standstill moment. The when where questions arise, over and over again. What will happen next?
Just like the cup, you’re left with options.
One option: adding to your life, but what if what’s added isn’t the same “liquid”? Anxiety at your front door. But, wait, that shouldn’t stop you, ‘cause there’s also the possibility that even if it isn’t the same, it could still work: i.e. coffee and milk. But it can also not. Anxiety really wants in.
Or you can call me Debbie, I’m being a downer. Speaking of down, it can also be that the half-filled cup is there and instead of adding to it, something or someone comes along and just takes leaving it less full; completely drained.
Anxiety again, reminding you of past experiences. Providing panic of that dread-some drained feeling. A feeling that leaves you so empty you struggle to get back up. Even if it’s just halfway, that when you do, you begin to over-analyze, due to some sort of fear creeping over.
So, instead of going either way, because you don’t want to risk anything at the moment, you just stay there; midpoint. It seems the safest place to be, but then why does it seem like it’s the wrong choice? Dare I say, cowardly?! You’re stuck even when you don’t want to be. And that only leaves room for those thoughts. Sound irrational yet?
But then you see there are still other alternatives. You could decide to stay as is, for the meantime, as unappealing as it sounds, but with a twist. Stay half-filled, but change the temperature and you could reach a different state of mind; something solid.
But for now, you’re stuck with these metaphorical thoughts.
And just when you were beginning to feel pressured, for not knowing what to do, you decide it’s okay; at least for now, to be as is. You don’t always have to figure something out on the first try. And if you do decide on something, you don’t have to jump all in. Small steps are still acceptable. For someone used to diving in that could prove difficult, but not impossible.
And you recall, #slowprogressisstillprogress. And it’s better that way. Because if it turns out that what’s being added isn’t complimentary, you don’t have to add too much; so as to not get an ugly mixture and create something ugly; undrinkable.
Or if it’s just something that’s taking away instead of adding, you’ll know it’s okay to walk away.
So put those thoughts to rest, and try getting yourself some rest.
Maybe you were reaching to get to Wonderland, with your initial thoughts. Maybe you opted not to go there. After all, there’s a time for everything and now isn’t the time for that.
Now you’re faced with a different question, on a scale of Cheshire to the Queen of hearts: how confusing can thoughts be?