I Miss U s

I miss U…s.

We had such an awesome friendship. In such short amount of time. I considered you one of my bests. My favorite.

It may sound unfair to the friends I’ve had before. The ones I have numerous stories of moments shared. But no one got me quite like you.

Our stories were different. They were genuine. They were hilarious. They were deep.

They went beyond the small talk. And the so and so did this and did you hear about this and that other nonsense. No, we would talk about dreams. And #goals. And we were alike, yet different individuals at the same time.

We shared a love for donuts and brisket. (Who doesn’t?) But I drew the line at them Takis those aren’t real chips. They lack the pica factor. Y’know that sabrosura that I only got with them flama chips. The same ones you purchased for me as bait to go over that day you cooked for me. Remember you even had extra tomatoes because you remembered one of our talks where I mentioned I’d snack on them as I watched Power Rangers as a kid. See, no one else knew that. You were the first to know. And now, whoever else happens to read this will be in on my childhood memory.

We had a lot going on. We were solid. We were fun. And we had many amazing meals we prepared together. I miss that.

I miss that along with so many other things.

I miss our movie marathons. Our talks. Our trips to the grocery store. And the memes. How I miss tagging you in memes. It’s hard because I still stumble upon some things and I’m like, Oh, he’d totally get a kick out of this. And oh this is so relatable. But then I remember we don’t have that anymore.

And I wish we did. More than anything, I miss my hb. Y’know before everyone questioned, “are y’all together?” Or before they started betting we’d eventually become “an item”

Labels! Who cares about labels? Just this gal who likes to label things. You’ve seen my storage bins. You’ve seen how I label things – my folders, my craft station, groceries, etc…

And perhaps I gave up too soon. Or perhaps you did. I don’t even know anymore. All I know is that I miss you. I miss us.

I miss having the liberty of tagging you. Of sending you a food recipe we absolutely must try. I miss your video calls. I miss the invites. You always made me feel wanted. I miss the shrimp boils even if I don’t like shrimp, but having you here with family that was legit. I miss being your shoulder to lean on when life was tough. I miss being your hg.

I miss a lot. But there’s also a lot I don’t miss. I don’t miss seeing you hurt yourself. I don’t miss not being able to do more no matter how much I wish I could. I don’t miss the arguments. I don’t miss people judging you as if you were the worst.

Funny, how it’s not even funny that the same ones rooting for us were the first to say, “he ain’t good.” They didn’t know you like I did. And maybe I’m too soft. And maybe it’s part of my caring nature, but I’ll never have any hatred towards you. Never have and won’t.

We all make misteaks. We all stumble and fall. We don’t always want help. We win some and lose others. But we can all change. And I am no one to want to change you. You were great. It’s those unhealthy choices that made it a burden. It hurt to see you hurt.

I hope you know that I don’t only miss you. I’m also still rooting for you. I’m still that person you can count on. The same one you once tagged on a grateful post. You know the one with the ride or die hashtag… yeah that’s me. I’m here. And that song that I once dedicated to you when we were hb and hg still holds true.

Let it be me. But you don’t have to. And that’s okay too. As long as you’re okay. As long as you’re good. I’ll be left with memories and missing you. But I’ll be okay too.