I feel like I am the mother who got entertained at the supermarket and lost notion of her child, because she decided to take the deal on the oatmeal and had to race back to the previous aisle and get it – forgetting her child that tagged alongside her.
Poor, poor child. I remember getting that feeling of being lost at our (not so local) “Gucci-B.” I know that feeling. Can anyone else relate? It’s the worse. Possibly even worse than a paper cut, and those little suckers sting!
So, I’m that mother and my blog is the child I left behind all because I couldn’t pass up on a deal for oatmeal. I haven’t forgotten about my child. I just simply had other deals cross my way that I couldn’t pass up.
Okay, so maybe that sounds like an excuse. After all, it is so like me to start something and then leave it unattended – only to come back later and find it spoiled in my refrigerator. Yes, it also happens with food. And the good kind too.
I ask myself, “Porque eres asi?” And although I know that I am a procrastinator, I still try to act surprised when I leave things unfinished. I guess, I just hate endings. Ask the books sitting on my shelf waiting to be finished. Or the TV shows that have been waiting on the continue watching tab, only to find that instead I’ll start a new show and never get to finishing the
old current shows, because again, I don’t do so well with endings.
And somehow if I continue writing I feel one day it too will come to an end. And that’s a scary feeling. Although, all things must come to an end, it’s just something I don’t like.
Stating that part of me is revealing too much for my nature. Because I prefer to leave things unknown about myself, but I’m human and this is me. And I’m trying to change, and the first step is acceptance. In addition, I heard or read somewhere that confessing it is a big step towards change as well. Let’s see how true that is. I’m beginning to be an open book, unlike those books I have yet to open to finish reading.
The point is I have left my child unattended. Charge me with negligence. And oatmeal isn’t really that great of a deal to have done so. Thus, I plea guilty. Guilty of leaving my child: the blog. (I feel I ought to specify because I don’t want to receive any hate comments about how cruel of a mother I am for leaving my child unattended – for starters I am not a mother. I don’t even have fur babies). Okay, now that I got that out of the way, I do plea guilty.
Guilty for not blogging as originally intended. Guilty because I haven’t made the time. Although 12-14 hour shifts are draining, perhaps a post here and there wouldn’t have hurt. But I needed my sleep and to work. And then on my days off I just wanted time for myself.
Time to adjust.
Time to relax (but not really happening).
Time to run errands.
Time to do laundry.
Time to make payments.
Time to make goals, plans, and everything else except write on my blog.
I feel bad about it, because blogging is what I really want to do. And what I started off as doing well. But then again that was when I was unemployed. And now working full-time and I’m talking about way more than 40 hrs. per week. It’s just hard to adjust to. And even that will almost be over with because I’m moving on. But that’s a different story. Perhaps I’ll write about that. But for now I just wanted to take the time to get back on track.
I finally purchased a new laptop. My other laptop has given up almost completely. It’s old. It’s slow. It will be missed. But new things have been coming my way this year. I knew 28 would be great. And I’m seeing many positive things. Okay, there’s been both good and bad, but I’m focusing on the good. That’s where it’s at.
And even though I am a bad mother who temporarily leaves her child in aisle 8 as she wanders off to aisle 5, she always comes back to find her child. And the reunification process is lovely.
From that point forward, words and promises are exchanged. And the start of a greater bond emerges. And ice cream – because ice cream makes everything better. But not too much because some intolerances are present. But even then, you just know everything that will be will be. And even though it is taking longer than usual to get to where one wants to be, whether it be in blogging, fitness, career wise – you name it – you can take a big sigh of relief that you have found your child. And you’re going to be walking side by side again.
Will there be other moments where one will wander off? More than likely. But they won’t be done intentionally and there will always be this time to look back to and how that made me feel after leaving you unattended and I’ll try my hardest not to be gone for too long.
Because I have so much to share. I’ll do so little by little. Because everything takes time. And this time I plan to be better at blogging and with all my other little goals. My journey that I would love to share with you my readers.
So let us all gather together at the front of the supermarket. Head out to the parking lot and walk this journey together. I’d appreciate your company.